


The Letter

by hannahfanficrobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-04 18:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6669388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahfanficrobron/pseuds/hannahfanficrobron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Using the May spoilers for Robert and Aaron, this is my version of what could happen. 3 Chapters long, now complete. Brief mentions of self harm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just felt I had to write something about Gordon's letter, so here it is!

Robert was walking down the street when he heard a shout behind him. Stopping, he turned to see Pete Barton chasing after him. "Can I have a word?"

"About?" Robert asked warily. He rarely had anything to say to Pete.

Pete held out an envelope and Robert shrugged, not getting the point. "I met... Aaron's father in prison," he said. Robert felt as if a bucket of cold water had just been dumped over him. He now knew where this was going. "He wanted Aaron to read this." Still Pete held out the letter but Robert didn't take it.

"Please don't give that to me," Robert said, his voice low and serious, as close to begging as he ever got.

"I said I would," Pete said with a shrug, still holding the letter within arms reach. "I know... how things are with you two, and I thought... that it might be better coming from you. Do you want it or not?"

"Not," Robert said firmly.

"Fine," Pete said. "I'll find Aaron later and give it to him myself." Before Robert could make the conscious decision, he'd snatched the letter away from Pete, and held it tightly. Pete smiled slightly, without any amusement. "That's what I thought." Within moments Robert was left alone in the middle of the street, wondering what he was going to do now?

* * *

 

He sat in the kitchen at home, drinking coffee, the letter sat in the middle of the table as he debated what to do with it. As far as he could see, he had three options. The first was destroy it. The second was hand it over to Aaron and be there to pick up the pieces when he inevitably fell apart. After all, nothing Gordon had to say could be good news. The third was read it first, then make a decision based on what it said. Robert shook his head to himself, shying away from that option instantly. That would be such a betrayal to Aaron and he knew he couldn't do it. What if Aaron read it and started hurting himself again? That was a big fear of Robert's, that he'd eventually come under enough pressure that he'd start cutting again. If it got as bad as last time, Robert could lose him permenantly. He would do almost anything to avoid that from happening.

He sighed heavily, staring at the pale envelope. He was screwed if he did and screwed if he didn't. Aaron would be angry with him either way. "Oh God!"

"All right?" Adam said, coming into the kitchen. Robert hadn't even realised he was home.

"Fine," Robert said shortly.

"Okay," Adam said, clearly not believing him. That's when his eyes fell on the letter in the middle of the kitchen table. "What's that?"

"It's a letter," Robert said, tucking it safely inside his jacket. "You know, how people communicated before facebook." he added, trying to be sarcastic and diffuse the situation.

"A letter to Aaron?" Robert clearly hadn't been quick enough in scooping it off the table. "And it's not your hand writing either." Why did Adam have to pick now to be his most perceptive? Normally you could crash a car in front of him and he'd barely notice.

"It's from Gordon," Robert admitted.

"Then why do you have it?" Adam said, sitting opposite Robert, the kitchen table between them.

"Pete gave it to me," Robert said. "Met Gordon inside and... Well, I've got it now."

"You're not going to give it to him, are you?" Adam said, reading the look on Robert's face.

"I don't know," Robert said. "I know I should, but... seriously, is there anything Gordon will have written that will help Aaron? It'll only make him worse."

"Worse than what?" Adam asked. Robert shook his head, not going into Aaron's self harm. He didn't know how much Adam knew about it in the first place.

"Give it to him," Adam said. "He deserves to make the choice himself."

"I know, but..."

"No buts," Adam said. "Because if you don't tell him, I will. And this'll be better coming from you."

"Second time I've heard that today," Robert said, not sure if he should feel pleased or offended that everyone thought that.

"It's true," Adam said. "We all know it." Robert sighed and closed his eyes.

"Give me a couple of days," he said. "I'll tell him, but with something like this, I think I need to... pick my moment."

"Yeah..." Adam said. Robert felt the paper in his pocket and still felt the impulse to set a match to it. He couldn't, now that Adam knew, because he would tell Aaron, sooner or later. Then it would be so much worse, the fact Robert hid it from him.

That night, Robert didn't find an opportunity to bring it up. He needed Aaron calm, and Chas shouting over a packed pub, with Liv blasting the TV didn't exactly fit the bill. When they went up to bed, he decided that tomorrow would be better. Why ruin the night by mentioning it? He knew Aaron would be upset, so he held back.

In the morning Aaron woke Robert up by kissing him gently. "Mm..." Robert moaned. "Morning."

"Hi," he said softly. "I have to go," Aaron added. "It's late and I've got to take Liv to school And then the scrapyard. Catch up on work."

"Okay," Robert said. The scrapyard reminded him of Adam. Adam knew about Gordon's letter. The letter which was burning a hole in his pocket. Should he mention it...? But then the moment was gone. Aaron was getting dressed as Robert watched him.

"Stop looking at me like that," Aaron said gruffly, though a slight smile softened his face.

"Can't help it," Robert said, a lazy smile on his own lips.

"Oh, you've dropped something," Aaron said, bending down and picking up a white envelope. Which he turned over and saw was addressed to himself. It must have fallen out of his jacket pocket from wherever he'd thrown it last night as they got into bed. Oh God.

"Robert, what the hell is this?" Aaron's dark tone made it perfectly clear he recognised the hand writing too.

"Aaron..."

" _What. Is. This_." It wasn't a question but Robert had no idea how to answer it.


	2. Chapter 2

Aaron didn't speak, his face going dark and closed off as he turned and went down the stairs. Robert hurried, grabbing any clothes he could find and hurriedly dressing as he followed him. Aaron hadn't left, he was in the back room, pacing, the letter on the kitchen table.

"Aaron, don't be..."

"Don't you dare tell me how to feel right now," Aaron said lowly. "Why did you have it?"

"Pete gave it to me," Robert said briefly. "He met Gordon in prison and..."

"Why do _you_ have it," Aaron repeated.

"Apparently he thought it would be better coming from me," Robert said, shaking his head briefly. "I was going to give it to you."

"But you didn't," Aaron said, shaking his head.

"I was waiting for a good time," Robert said, realising that there wasn't going to be one as soon as he said the words. Aaron scoffed. Both men stood at least six feet apart, Aaron angry and upset, Robert upset and apologetic. The atmosphere was very charged when Liv and Chas walked in five seconds later, neither Aaron nor Robert taking their eyes off of each other.

"Okay," Chas said raising her eyebrows as she sensed the atmosphere. "Play nicely boys."

"Mum, can you take Liv to school?" Aaron asked, his eyes still not leaving Robert's face. Hard eyes which were giving nothing away.

"I've got the delivery..."

"Please mum," Aaron said.

"Fine," Chas said. "Come on Liv, I think we should leave them to it.

Liv looked at Robert, smirking slightly as she left the room. "You're in trouble." Robert ignored that, though it was perfectly true. When Chas and Liv had gone, Aaron continued.

"Why didn't you give it to me?" Aaron asked. "Were... have you read it?"

"Of course I haven't read it," Robert said, appalled that Aaron could think that, even under the current circumstances. "Aaron..."

"Going to burn it without telling me?" Aaron suggested darkly. For a moment it frightened Robert how well he knew him. Aaron knew exactly how his brain worked.

"I thought about it," Robert admitted. "But if I was going to do that, I'd have done it by now. Not likely to leave the evidence around, am I?" Aaron nodded once in agreement at the logic. "I wanted... I didn't want anything to hurt you," Robert said, shaking his head. "And I knew that letter would. I wanted... to protect you, I guess."

"Well, you failed," Aaron said bitterly. "You've hurt me by hiding it." He stood across the room, bristling for a fight. Robert knew Aaron very well, but even someone who didn't could see that.

Robert didn't know what made him do it, but he picked up the envelope from the table, holding it out to Aaron.

"Give it here," Aaron said briefly. He snatched it and left the pub without so much as a backwards glance. Robert wanted, with every cell in his body to go after him, but he didn't. Maybe some time would help Aaron cool off and calm down. He hoped.

* * *

 

His resolve not to go looking for Aaron lasted about twenty minutes. Then he couldn't take it any more, the not knowing what Aaron was going to do with his fathers words, and he went to find him. Eventually, he went to the scrapyard, finding Aaron sitting behind his desk, teeth clenched, glaring at the letter.

"I don't want to talk to you," Aaron said without looking up.

"I know," Robert said, leaning on Adam's desk, watching Aaron battle with himself internally. "But I'm here anyway."

The silence spread out between them, Aaron still staring at the letter. "What can he possibly say?" Aaron asked eventually.

"Nothing worth reading," Robert said. Though by this point, he knew Aaron would read it. Eventually. Probably after battling with himself over it for a few hours or days, but then he'd open it, Robert was sure of it. "Just read it," Robert said. Aaron looked at him for the first time since he'd come into the cabin. "We both know you will eventually. Do it now, get it over with." Aaron still looked at him. "I can leave. If you want privacy."

"No," Aaron said instantly. He did not want Robert to leave. "I might have flown off the handle at you."

"Might have?" Robert questioned lightly, managing to smile a little as he sat on the edge of the desk, close to Aaron, but not too close. "I was put in a difficult position, Aaron."

"I know," he said. "But you should have given it to me first. Let it be my choice, not yours."

"Point taken." Aaron took in a deep breath, flipped the envelope over and took out the paper inside. But he still didn't unfold it.

"It's going to be one of two things," Aaron said, talking to himself rather than Robert. "Either he's still denying it, calling me a delusional liar, or he's admitting to it. Neither is going to make me feel better right now."

"I think you should burn it," Robert said. "But I know you, and if you do that, you're always going to be wondering what it said."

Aaron huffed, knowing he was right. He opened the letter. Robert stood watching him read it, trying to tell anything from Aaron's expression, but he wasn't giving anything away. Even when he'd finished, folding it back into its envelope, Robert still couldn't tell what it'd said.

"Well?" he asked impatiently.

"Nothing," Aaron said lowly. "Thinks I need psychiatric help. I'm disturbed and confused, and he doesn't blame me. He still loves me because I'm his son." Aaron scoffed. "I didn't think he'd do the rambling apology but..."

"Ignore him," Robert said firmly.

"He wants me to go and see him," Aaron said quietly.

"He's not serious?!" Robert blurted. "Oh, come on, you're not actually thinking of going, are you?"

"No," Aaron said firmly. He meant it too, and Robert could tell. "I never want to see him again, that's why I'm glad he's locked up. So I don't have to..."

"But," Robert said, filling in the end of the sentence.

"But... he will be free eventually. I will _have_ to see him again. He won't let it go."

"Not for a long time," Robert said, not wanting to lie to him. Aaron was silent and Robert took a risk. He covered Aaron's hand with his own, squeezing gently. Aaron let him, turning his palm over so their fingers could entwine. Robert felt his chest relax, seeing Aaron accept his touch at a time like this. They stayed there, connected by their hands but saying nothing for almost a full minute. Robert desperately wanted to offer more comfort, but he was too afraid of being rejected under the circumstances. Him and Aaron were still too new.

"I need to get to work," Aaron said gruffly, taking his hand away. Unfortunately, Robert recognised the dismissal and he stood up.

"You can call... if..."

"I know," Aaron said. His tone was hard, but his eyes weren't, letting Robert know that he appreciated the offer. Robert sighed and left Aaron to it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudos and encouragement on this. Definitely another chapter to go. Not sure how long this is going to end up now!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter ended up being a bit more fluff filled than I anticipated! Ah well, hoping no one will mind.

 

Aaron hadn't called all day and Robert was trying hard not to worry about him. When five o'clock came and went, Robert knew he would no longer be at work, and he was trying to fight off how much it hurt that Aaron hadn't called him. Trying and failing, because it did hurt. Making a decision, he went to the pub.

"Chas, can I have a word?"

"Aaron's back through there," she said nodding easily.

"Actually, I meant with you," Robert said. "If you've got a minute?" She looked surprised but nodded, taking him to a table in the (thankfully) quiet pub.

"Spit it out then," she said as they sat opposite each other.

"I'm worried about Aaron," he said. "Today... he got a letter from Gordon."

"What?!" Chas said, appalled.

"Yes, that's how I feel," Robert said. "I don't think he's taken it that well. Just... I wanted you to keep an eye on him."

"Of course I will," Chas said. "I always do."

"Gordon asked Aaron to visit him in prison."

"You what?" Chas asked, her voice blunt. "You are joking."

"Come on, Chas. Would I joke about something like that?" Robert said, shaking his head. "I think it's thrown him. I'm... worried about him."

"Thanks for telling me," Chas said.

"Look, he didn't ask me not to tell you, but I don't think he wants everyone to know."

"Yeah," Chas said. "Yeah, I get the picture." Chas nodded in thanks and went behind the bar. In two minutes she brought a pint over to Robert who smiled at her.

“Thanks.”

* * *

 "Hiya love." Aaron paused in the middle of eating his sandwich, looking at his mother. The tone in her voice gave it away.

"Robert told you?" Aaron said. No point drawing it out.

"He may have mentioned something," Chas said. "Don't be mad at him."

"I’m not," Aaron said. "And there's nothing to say on that subject, so drop it."

"You know you can talk to me," Chas said quietly. "It doesn't always have to be Robert."

"Yeah, I know mum." Aaron smiled at her tightly. "I'm not going to see him in prison," he added.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise," he said. Chas smiled at him.

“Good.”

“I need to sleep,” Aaron said, closing his eyes briefly, despite the fact it was early. He was tired, but especially tired of the conversations about Gordon that kept circulating. “Is Robert here?” he asked after a moment, debating whether asking his mother that was a good idea.

“He was out the front,” Chas said. Aaron nodded, closing his eyes for a moment, his head tilting onto his hand in drowsiness. He may actually have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing he knew was Robert’s voice jerking him awake.

“Aaron?”

“Mm?”

“Are you all right?” Robert asked seriously.

“I’m bored of talking about this subject,” Aaron said, shrugging it off. “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you…?”

“Am I what?” Robert asked.

“Staying here tonight?” Aaron asked, risking the question. He didn’t want to be rejected but he wanted Robert to be with him tonight badly.

“If you want,” he said. The words were light, almost inconsequential, which would have bothered Aaron if it wasn’t for the warmth in Robert’s eyes. He wanted to be here as much as Aaron did and Aaron felt his lips curl into a small smile.

* * *

 

Robert groaned as he woke up, feeling like it was a few hours too early. His legs were tangled with Aaron’s and he smirked slightly. A very good way to wake up. He tried to get up but ended accidentally kicking Aaron who moaned himself awake.

“Sorry,” he said quietly.

“If you’re getting up, bring some coffee upstairs,” Aaron said lazily. Robert smiled in agreement, going down to the kitchen. When he reached the kitchen he was incredibly glad he’d thought to put some clothes on, despite how early it was. Chas sat at the kitchen table, wearing a dressing gown and she raised an eyebrow as she saw Robert.

“Oh. You’re still here.”

“Apparently,” Robert said sharply, busying himself making coffee. While he and Chas were on speaking terms, and often more than that when Aaron was involved, Chas always made him nervous, especially when she caught him on the back foot.

“How is he?” she asked.

“Fine,” Robert said, genuinely believing it for a time. “Until the next disaster comes along, anyway.” At that particular moment, Liv came in, heading straight for the fridge. Robert looked at her pointedly and Chas hid her smile in her mug.

“Oh. You’re here,” Liv said, looking Robert up and down clearly with distaste.

“And with such a warm welcome,” Robert said sarcastically, adding milk to his own coffee, leaving Aaron's black, the way he liked it. “Right, well I’ll just…” Robert left and Liv watched him go.

“Is he always here?” she asked Chas.

“I think he might be, yes,” she said. Chas couldn’t bring herself to mind too much. Since the trial, she’d actually seen Aaron smile, more than once too. She’d be lying to herself if she didn’t think that had anything to do with Robert.

Upstairs, Aaron took the mug of coffee greedily. “Thanks.” Robert sat on the edge of the bed, watching him. “Stop it,” Aaron said. “You’re watching me like I’m about to fall apart.”

“No, I’m not,” Robert said seriously. “Just watching you.” He took another sip of his coffee. “Are we okay? After yesterday.”

“Yes,” Aaron said. “I’m not mentioning that bloody letter ever again.”

“Fine.” Robert smiled, leaning over Aaron and kissing him softly. Aaron sighed gently against him, closing his eyes letting Robert take control, groaning when he bit Aaron‘s lip lightly, teasingly. It was just getting really enjoyable when they heard a plate smash downstairs, and Chas’s and Liv’s voices raised in an argument. Aaron sighed heavily with disappointment as they parted.

“We should…”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Robert said. He kissed Aaron briefly, a silent promise that they would carry on later, before they both started the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all who've read this, especially those who've commented and left Kudos. Really makes my day!


End file.
